• condom:  You steal my job for 1 week every month!
• tampon:  When you fuck up I lose my job for 9 months!

davidfincherings:

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986)

“Um, he’s sick. My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it’s pretty serious.”

• Television:  In the criminal justice system--
• Me:  SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENCES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN

ffoodd:

Fireworks Push-Up Cakes Recipe (by Betty Crocker Recipes)

ratcheeeet:

sp-ceman:

THE INTERNET HAS BEEN BROKEN

THAT GAP

IT’S CLOSED

IT’S LIKE A BRIDGE

We’re homiez fo’lyfe.